I’ve been thinking a lot lately about stuff. Instagrammable outfits and a pinterest worthy home. The stuff I want, the stuff other people have. At the end of the day it’s just stuff, and I know that, but working in fashion, living in NYC, or maybe just simply being on social media, it sometimes feels like getting more is all I can think about, even when I don’t want it. Do you ever just stop and think, how do I make this stop!?
It’s really hard to live in these social media driven times and not be constantly wanting more. There are many great things about social media- the ability to have a voice, a creative outlet, and connect with your tribe. However, a major side effect plaguing our generation is the FOMO disease, and this constant state of “not enough” is killing us. The anecdote to FOMO is gratitude so here is how to exchange greed for gratitude and choose a more life-giving look at life. For best results, repeat daily as often as needed.
Plague: Their _____ is Better
It’s easy to think if I had a beautiful wardrobe like that blogger I could get better jobs. I’d fit in better. I’d make the friends I want to make. But having been working in fashion for nearly a decade I can tell you that even the bosses I have worked with that have the most designer wardrobes and seemingly the most money- are just as unhappy- just as needy to chase after the new, the not yet, the unowned. It’s never enough.
Anecdote: I love _______
So if having it all doesn’t actually give us all then maybe, just maybe, it’s a mental game. Maybe you are happy with your life the moment you choose to be so. I can attest to this having spent many hours in the slums on multiple continents and seeing people with literally nothing have an overwhelming joy that you truly can envy. So choose one thing each day you absolutely love. Maybe it’s one thing each hour, or one thing in each new environment you step into. Be as aggressive as you dare with choosing to love what you have.
Plague: My life should look like a magazine
First of all, not even magazine sets look like that photograph in the glossy spread. Behind that beautiful Kinfolk picture, is hours of lighting, set design, and editing. Setting up the room so it looks good from the angle the camera sees. Tucking and pinning the clothing on the model with actual binder clips so it looks exactly right for the shot. A team of people ready to primp and prep in between every shot to make everything exactly right. It’s not real. And that crew is in baggy jeans and Chuck Taylors, likely hair pinned up in a messy bun, mid-bite of their lunch they are eating while they work.
Even for bloggers! The beauty of living in New York is you pass blogger photo shoots on the street every day. You are friends with them. Most of them spend their own money to hire a photographer to bang out several looks in one day, many of which are comprised of clothing they’ve been gifted by the brands for promotion. If they’re successful enough for that. I’ve also seen friends drain money trying to start this lifestyle with nothing to show for it. It takes major sacrifice to portray this life, that even if attained, isn’t what it feels like.
Anecdote: Make a life-giving vision board
Instead of a vision board comprised of all the things you want to own. Make one of how you want to feel, along with one BIG WHY you want to work towards. Maybe that’s owning a home- in which case put the home on the board. Or maybe that’s travel- pick the most inspiring place. But only one big thing is allowed on this board. The point isn’t to over-materialize your goals. Focus on your one major goal that all other life decisions will fall in line to support. And words, lots of words. Peace, laughter, support, giving. Words that evoke the kind of life you want to have. You can evaluate what is in your life AND what newly comes into your path based on those standards alone. Everything else gets a pass.
We’re All in This Together
At the end of the day we need to remember we all suffer from FOMO. We are all constantly victim to advertising through every channel of our lives whether we want it or not. Buy now is in our face and a part of our life. I even suffer from this as I research fantastic ethical brands to bring you on this blog so that when you shop, you can choose to shop better. So let’s be kinder to each other. Be intentional at celebrating each other’s successes and not let that reflect on how we view our own lives.
PLEASE JOIN THE CONVERSATION! Follow us on Instagram and let us know how you rally for the people in your life while maintaining your own gratitude. We want the THR3EFOLD community to be a community that champions for each other and links arms while we run this race together.